I find the first paragraph too long. I think the use of words that grab you is vital as it is the start of your journey to acheiveing a successful weight loss. The phrase 'your partner for safe and effective weight loss' doesn't grab me. The use of words such as successful and acheiving your ultimate goal gives you a sense of hope. This needs to be more inspiring and convincing.
The question I keep asking myself is what makes this programme any different to other diet programmes or slimming tablets? It's promise of 50% more weight loss sounds too good to be true.
On a more positive note, I like the idea of using bullet points as a format. It makes the message clearer and easy to read.
If the pill is taken with each meal containing fat, what if it doesn't contain fat? Do you still experience the same symptoms as if you did?
Subscribe to:
Post Comments (Atom)
No comments:
Post a Comment